Sex Who Needs It annon I’ve found the past couple of years to be an eye opener in the world of sexual experiences. I’m not necessarily referring to my own experiences, but those of society in general. There was a time when more smart-conscious decisions were made relating to sexual relationships. But times have changed. The pillars that hold up our individual sexual values have started to crumble.
No longer can we create our own standards without feeling ostracized by the society that forms the standards for us. With influences coming from the media, infatuated hormones and opinionated peers, teenagers today have turned the act of love making into a whimsical joyride. The difference between making love and having sex is miles apart. To make love, the partners involved use their hearts more so than their parts. To have sex, the partners use their parts more so than their hearts.
The key to this Dr. Seuss rhyme lies in the selected noun that the partners use in their actions. Since hormones and feelings (hearts) both exist on a different level, saying that they are the same would be to take away all the feeling, emotion and love involved in love making. Teens are letting their hormones control their sexual decisions by giving in to the pure pleasure of sex. To make up for their lack of solid reasoning behind their acts, they try to rationalize their choices.
The justification that many couples come up with for having sex is love. I can’t help but wonder how many couples would actually stay together if their relationship existed without sex. Friends and peers are a big pressure factor when deciding weather or not to have sex. As seen in many after school specials, the popular “C’mon, everybody is doing it,” isn’t far off the mark. Just knowing that three or four other couples in a social group are having sex can sway a couple to give in and start hitting their own home runs on their sexual playing field.
With each new couple having sex, the pressure current becomes stronger and stronger, especially for those couples not sexually active. At this point many couples get swept in the flow of the current and just go with it; they do the nasty. Once they’ve committed themselves to having sex, it’s very hard to stop. The couple might find out that they aren’t ready for this big step in their relationship, but to stop having sex would mean to lose face with friends! Well, do you think that they’re going to stop having sex? Not a chance! And, so they continue their acts of whimsical joyriding, without any care to see where the ride is taking them, just to keep their status with their social group. The media is also a persuasive factor that plays a large role in the life of a teenager.
Although t.v. shows, films and magazines are all supposed to offer escape from reality, many teens buy into the situations presented as if they were real. For instance, how many teens watch Beverly Hills, 90210? Now, here’s a show that says to kids straight out, “It’s o.k. to have casual sex and not think of any consequences.” The writers even took the only virgin on the show, Donna, who remained true to her faith for so long, and had her give up her virginity. The one thing the writers failed to look at however, is the number of youth that watch the show, and in that number, how many take the ideals of the show and use them as their own personal values.
All of the characters on 90210, the most popular “teen” show on t.v., have casual sex. Teens who watch the show are going to take this into account when they have their own sexual experiences. The love and care given/received in a teenager’s “90210 relationship” can only reflect the fake morals seen on-screen. The reality of consequence is the fastest wake-up call anyone can have given to them. One needs not carry a glass ball around with them to predict the future. All it takes is being able to visualize the repercussions of their actions.
Now, I know that every teenager has been taught in health class how the sexual reproduction system of a human works: the little male spermy-wormy goes for a swim up the canal and fertilizes the little female egg-weggy. So, I am dumbfounded when a couple that has had unprotected sex is shocked when they find out they’re expecting. Well, Hell-oOo?!? Didn’t you read the label on your penis, buddy? You know, the one that said, “May cause pregnancy; avoid use before you are ready to father children.” In a case like this many people will have an abortion. Abortions are used so often that I’m sure by now it can be considered a method of birth control. And if the parents do decide to keep the baby, how can they care for it? To pay for all of a baby’s needs, a full time paycheck is required.
Assuming the mother stays home to care for the child, the father needs to quite school to work full time. Once someone leaves high school, they seldom come back. So, now he’s stuck taking care of a baby and the wife (as he’s probably married by now), paying for all the diapers, food, clothing, health care, mortgage, insurance, etc. These two parents have all the responsibilities of grown-ups…and they’re only in their teens! And what’s it all for? A simple night of hot blooded, hormone filled passion, or as I refer to it, a whimsical joyride. The pillars haven’t totally fallen to the ground although the pressure has been great. With so much outside influence, it is hard to come to our own conclusions about what’s right for us. Everybody else seems to already know. The rate at which teenagers are evolving is awesome.
We want to do it all and we want to do it now! I hope that we take the time to learn about the joys of the heart and try to shy away from the joys of the part. The former is much more fulfilling, I’m sure, and leaves you with more respect for yourself and your significant other…that and it gives you a nice, warm feeling inside.?.